The 2nd Law - Make it Attractive

How to Maek a Habit Irresistible

Supernormal stimuli: a heightened version of reality

Make use of Supernormal stimuli for habit forming: Make it attractive!

• The more attractive an opportunity is, the more likely it becomes habit-forming.
• While it is not possible to transform every habit into a supernormal stimulus, we can make any habit more enticing.

The Dopamine-driven feedback loop

Dopamine

• drives desire, not just pleasure. Without dopamine, animals “like” rewards but don’t “want” them → no action.
• fuels habits High-dopamine behaviors (junk food, gambling, social media, drugs) are the most addictive.

The dopamine-driven feedback loop:

Before a habit is learned

• (A) dopamine is released when the reward is experienced for the first time.
• The next time around (B), dopamine rises before taking action, immediately after a cue is recognized. This spike leads to a feeling of desire and a craving to take action whenever the cue is spotted.

Once a habit is learned

• Dopamine will not rise when a reward is experienced because you already expect the reward. However, if you see a cue and expect a reward, but do not get one, then dopamine will drop in disappointment (C).
• The sensitivity of the dopamine response can clearly be seen when a reward is provided late (D).
  • First, the cue is identified and dopamine rises as a craving builds.
  • Next, a response is taken but the reward does not come as quickly as expected and dopamine begins to drop.
  • Finally, when the reward comes a little later than you had hoped, dopamine spikes again. It is as if the brain is saying, “See! I knew I was right. Don’t forget to repeat this action next time.”

Anticipation matters more than reward

• Dopamine spikes when expecting a reward, not just after receiving it.

  Example

  • Gambling addicts have a dopamine spike right before they place a bet, not after they win.

  • Cocaine addicts get a surge of dopamine when they see the powder, not after they take it.

• Whenever you predict that an opportunity will be rewarding, your levels of dopamine spike in anticipation. And whenever dopamine rises, so does your motivation to act.

“Wanting” vs. “liking”: It is the anticipation of a reward—not the fulfillment of it—that gets us to take action.

• The reward system that is activated in the brain when you receive a reward is the same system that is activated when you anticipate a reward.
• Your brain has far more neural circuitry allocated for wanting rewards than for liking them.
  • 100 percent of the nucleus accumbens is activated during wanting, while only 10 percent of the structure is activated during liking.
  • Example

    - As a child, thinking about Christmas morning can be better than opening the gifts. 
    - As an adult, daydreaming about an upcoming vacation can be more enjoyable than actually being on vacation.
    Copy

Desire is the engine that drives behavior. Every action is taken because of the anticipation that precedes it. It is the craving that leads to the response.

-> For habits, we need to make our habits attractive because it is the expectation of a rewarding experience that motivates us to act in the first place.

Use temptation bundling to make your habits more attractive

Temptation bundling: Link an action you want to do with an action you need to do.

• You’re more likely to find a behavior attractive if you get to do one of your favorite things at the same time.
• Temptation bundling is one way to apply a psychology theory known as Premack’s Principle - “More probable behaviors will reinforce less probable behaviors.”.
• Temptation bundling is one way to create a heightened version of any habit by connecting it with something you already want.

Combine Habit Stacking and Temptation Bundling:

1. After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [HABIT I NEED].
2. After [HABIT I NEED], I will [HABIT I WANT].

The Role of Family and Friends in Shaping Your Habits

The seductive pull of social norms

Humans are herd animals with a deep desire to belong, connect, and gain peer approval.

Early habits are usually not chosen by ourselve, but mostly imitated from family, friends, schools, communities, and society.

• Social norms act as invisible rules guiding daily behavior, often unconsciously.

• Behaviors become attractive when they help us fit in with the group.

  Example

  • If you grow up in a family that rewards you for your chess skills, playing chess will seem like a very attractive thing to do.
  • If you work in a job where everyone wears expensive suits, then you’ll be inclined to ⁠⁠splurge⁠⁠ on one as well.
  • If all of your friends are sharing an inside joke or using a new phrase, you’ll want to do it, too, so they know that you “get it.”

We imitate the habits of three groups in particular:

• The close

• The many

• The powerful

Imitating the close

Proximity has a powerful effect on our behavior.

• We pick up habits from the people around us, usually without realizing it.

  Example

  • We copy the way our parents handle arguments, the way our peers flirt with one another, the way our coworkers get results.
  • When your friends smoke pot, you give it a try, too.
  • When your wife has a habit of double-checking that the door is locked before going to bed, you pick it up as well.

-> A general rule: The closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to imitate some of their habits.

Peer pressure can be positive or negative, depending on who surrounds you.

One of the most effective way to build habits: **Join a culture where **

• your desired behavior is the normal behavior.

  • New habits seem achievable when you see others doing them every day.

  • ⁠Your culture sets your expectation for what is “normal.” Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself so you’ll rise together.⁠⁠ 💪

• you already have something in common with the group

  • Belonging transforms “personal quest” into shared identity
    • Growth and change is no longer an individual pursuit. The shared identity begins to reinforce your personal identity.
  • Staying in the group after reaching your goal is key to sustaining habits long-term - It’s friendship and community that embed a new identity and help behaviors last over the long run.⁠⁠

####Imitating the many

Humans naturally check group behavior when uncertain, seeking social validation.

Conformity has pros and cons

• Pros: Usually a smart, safe, energy-saving strategy
• Cons: The normal behavior of the tribe often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual.

There is tremendous internal pressure to comply with the norms of the group.

• The reward of being accepted is often greater than the reward of winning an argument, looking smart, or finding truth. Most days, we’d rather be wrong with the crowd than be right by ourselves.
• The human mind knows how to get along with others. It wants to get along with others. This is our natural mode.

Habit insights:

• When changing your habits means challenging the tribe, change is unattractive.
• When changing your habits means fitting in with the tribe, change is very attractive.

Imitating the powerful

Humans seek power, prestige, and status because they bring resources, security, and attractiveness.

• We are drawn to behaviors that earn us respect, approval, admiration, and status.

  Example

  We want to be the one in the gym who can do muscle-ups or the musician who can play the hardest chord progressions or the parent with the most accomplished children because these things separate us from the crowd.

• Once we fit in, we start looking for ways to stand out.

We imitate/copy successful/high-status people’s habits, hoping to gain similar success.

We also avoid behaviors that lower our status.

How to Find and Fix the Causes of Your Bad Habits